Dear Haters, Read Carefully…

Every time I hear it, it’s like nails on a chalkboard. Every time I see it on social media, I cringe.

These emotions happen because I see many of my students and young adults believing in this way of thinking. It’s unhealthy and can lead you down the wrong path.

It is the desire to prove the “HATERS” wrong. The most common quotes I see are, “Dear Haters, I have so much more for you to be mad at, just be patient,” or “I love my haters, they keep me motivated.”

A HATER is a person who shows hate toward, criticizes, and belittles other people. They are people that never acknowledge another person’s success and only focus exposing a flaw in that person.

If you break it down, focusing on the HATERS means focusing on trying to impress or prove a person wrong who is critical and unhappy for your success.

Why would you ever want to spend any energy or time trying to impress a person with these qualities? Why allow this type of person to be involved in your life?

As I am writing, this I have to laugh at myself because I used to be determined to proving the HATERS wrong. I can’t remember the exact moment when I stopped believing in this way of thinking, but it started when I read about and studied successful people in their careers.

In my early twenties I became intrigued and fascinated with the mindset of people who succeed in their careers. I wanted to know why these type of people had massive success and others struggled. Did they have a secret to success or did their circumstances help them get lucky?

I studied and tried to find if they had a common trait that contributed to their success. I read biography’s from famous athletes, musicians, coaches, writers, movie stars and CEO’s. All of these people had different careers and upbringings, but all reached an elite level of success.

What I learned is not one of them talked about the HATERS. The HATERS did not fuel their drive, and they didn’t waste energy on proving them wrong. Each person has a different mindset and philosophies, but I found a common trait.

Each of these people had the ability to self-reflect and be their biggest critic. They didn’t need a HATER to motivate them; they didn’t need a boss, parent, or friend to tell them what needed to get done. They held themselves to a high-standard and had intrinsic motivation to fuel them.

I will admit not caring about what other people think is not always easy. Having the desire to prove people wrong can be a part of human nature. But, don’t let it control what makes you passionate about life. Never base your life decisions based on how it will look to other people.

Learn to self-reflect and learn to be your own critic. When these skills are practiced and applied, it allows us to become the best version of ourselves.

You might be able to walk on water, and a HATER will say you are not a good swimmer. Never waste another minute proving anything to a HATER because you will lose every time.