Follow your Heart….A myth?

During the school year, I hand out a notecard and ask my students a simple question. They are only allowed to write one word, agree or disagree?

The question is, “when faced with a difficult decision in life, is it always best to follow your heart?”

Almost every time 100% of the students write AGREE.  I am always pleased with their answer and puzzled at the same time.

If students at a young age truly feel it is important to follow their heart, then why do so many adults lead a life that they are unhappy with? Do they not follow their heart? Is there an age they stop believing in following their heart?

I believe it is because the statement is overused and unfinished. We hear this cliche statement our whole life, without hearing the reality of what comes with following your heart.

The reality is following your heart often leads you down a path with the most resistance. The path where you have to face adversity, and uncertainty to get what you want.

The most significant story I can share when I followed my heart happened three months before I graduated from college. I spent my entire undergraduate years studying and working in the TV broadcasting industry.

It was the career that my professors, family and friends all said would be a job they could see me doing, and excelling at. I believed them, and without meaning to boast I had exceptional talent in the field. I would have landed a job right out of college in the industry. However, there was only one major problem. I knew I was not following my heart.

Right before I graduated, I spent many sleepless nights rolling around in bed struggling to make a decision. I knew a broadcasting career would not fulfill my sense of purpose. I was tormented by my thoughts. Do I take the path with the least resistance, or listen to my heart?

Taking the path with the least resistance was the easy choice. Graduating and pursuing a career in what I was studying for the last four years made the most sense. 

If I followed my heart, it would lead to the unknown. Taking that route presented questions that I couldn’t answer to my family, friends or even myself.

The only certainty for me, was knowing I didn’t want to be a person on a screen talking about athletes. I wanted to be the coach in the huddle motivating and inspiring the athletes. I wanted to help teach life lessons through coaching.

I finally decided to talk to my family and professors about my decision. To be honest, most of them thought it was not a good idea, and I should try broadcasting before I moved in another direction. I know the reason they felt this way was because when I was asked questions about how I was going to make a career out of coaching, my answer was always…“I don’t know.” 

Saying this was not the answer the people who cared about me wanted to hear. I always had answers and solutions if I took the broadcasting route. With coaching I didn’t. Answering questions with “I don’t know,” did not give people faith I was making the right decision.

After many uncertain conversations in my head about which path to take, I finally decided to pursue my career in coaching. My first job out of college was a $10 an hour job as the deli boy at Whole Foods. Along with that, I was working as a waiter on the weekends and coaching football for one of the worst football programs in the state. I did all of this just to barely be able to pay my rent and have money for food.

It wasn’t the most exciting story to tell after I had a promising career option as a TV broadcaster.  These jobs were also not convincing my family or myself that I made the correct choice. I was slowly realizing that when you follow your heart you are not instantly granted clarity and an easy path to get to the end goal.  

It took me three years to finally have the game plan on what I needed to do to make a career and coaching coincide.  I went back to school and received my master’s and teaching license.

The whole time while going back to school and working I kept striving to be the best coach I could be.  I read countless books on various topics that would help me in my field, I found a mentor, I watched hours and hours of film. I knew I was on the right path, but the answers were not always easy. It wasn’t as simple as someone just telling you to follow your heart and everything would work out.

Then at twenty-nine years-old I accepted my first head coaching job, making myself the youngest head coach in the state. I reached a goal I set for myself, but it didn’t come without many uncertain moments and self-doubting questions of myself.

This brings me back to the question I ask my students. “When faced with a difficult decision in life, is it always best to follow your heart?”

I still believe the answer is yes. However, I think the quote should be re-written. Follow your heart, but understand it comes with adversity, unknown questions, failures, and doubts.

As you read this I hope you thought of something that has been calling you. A decision that requires you to follow your heart. My advice to you is to listen to it and pursue it. Take the journey and see what comes from it.