Speechless

Two moments stay with you for a lifetime, a great insult and great advice. In this story, I happened to receive both in the same day.

I have never been the most intelligent or the most talented. Where I have excelled is my relentless work ethic.  It was not developed naturally, I have my Mom to thank for that. She instilled it in me at a young age by her daily example.

Her success came the unconventional way by today’s standards.  She didn’t have parents that she could ride on their coattails.  She joined the working force out of high school as an entry-level secretary and from there worked her way into top management positions.  

She would preach to my brother and me that the only thing you can control is your work ethic. I am thankful that she stressed this personal value. I always thought I understood what she meant, but  I learned firsthand what work ethic meant when she got me a job the summer of my freshman year in college.

Unfortunately the first day of work was after taking my college finals.  Like many college students I spent the night celebrating, the end of my finals tests.  This made for a late night with little sleep. Without providing too many details you can imply that I was not in the ideal shape to work the next day.

The job I was given was to wash cars at a reputable car dealership where she worked. The job was simple. Stand outside in the sun, wash and vacuum cars.  It was not the most ideal job, but my options were limited because I was heading back up to school in a month. At that time it was enough to keep me busy and make some money.

Once my day started I knew it was going to be a long day. Not only was I tired and had a headache, but there also was not a cloud in the sky, and the sun was beating down on me. After a couple of hours in the hot heat I began to get nauseous. I was sweating, I was getting chills and my face was as pale as a ghost.  Suddenly it all became too overwhelming and I threw up all over the car lot! Not once, but twice.

The other person I was working with grabbed me a wet towel and pointed me to the side of the building where I could sit down and get shade.  Word got around the dealership quickly about what happened. It was only a matter of time before my Mom came to check on me.

I was pathetically slouching on the side of the building where there was a small area of shade. With a wet towel on my head and my eyes closed I heard the sound of my Mom’s high heels walking towards me.  I knew by the sound of her heels hitting the ground she was approaching at a fast speed.  I assumed that she was concerned about what happened.

As she turned the corner, she said. “Are you okay?”

Frustrated, I said “Not really, I don’t feel good. I think I am done for the day.”

That must have humored her because she laughed at me and said, “go rinse off your face, get some water and get back to work! You are embarrassing yourself and me!”

Like any teenager I responded with an attitude saying, “Are you kidding me? I just threw up, and it’s 90 degrees, and you want me to go back to work?  I’m not doing it.”

With a smile on her face and speaking with a condescending tone she said. “No sweetie, I am not joking with you, and if you don’t keep working you can start looking for a new job tomorrow.”

She didn’t give me a chance to get in another word and she walked away quickly.  She won the battle.  I was fuming, but I knew going back to work was not an option. It was an order. So, I went back to work and finished the day.

On the car ride home we sat in complete silence. In fact I sat in the backseat. I was upset that she didn’t have sympathy for how I was feeling that day. After about 20 minutes she broke the silence and said. “I love you, ya big baby.”

Quickly I responded with, “love me…my ass.”

She must have been planning what she said next the whole day because it left me speechless, and it completely changed my perspective on the situation.

She said, “be a man and take responsibility for your actions. It is not my fault you showed up not ready to work today. It’s your fault!  I raised you to have a strong work ethic. That doesn’t mean you only work hard when you feel good. There will be plenty of days where you won’t feel good or feel like working. How many times do you think I wanted to call in sick or didn’t feel 100%. Do you think I told my boss, sorry I can’t work today, I don’t feel 100%? No, I sucked it up and worked and that’s what I expect of you.”

She was 100% right and I had nothing to say. As much as I wanted to argue, I was left speechless. She put me in my place.

The important lesson I learned from this is to not live life based on how you feel. How often do you not feel like working, eating healthy, exercising, or working on your dreams?   I believe in the quote that says, “All success in life is found in your daily habits.” What it does not say is, “All success in life is found in your daily habits when… you feel like doing them.” The challenge is to be consistent with your work ethic regardless of a good or bad day.